doing well but worried

i havent heard from oscar (my bf) all day today, im very worried for him, we were meant to meet up today and he didnt show up and he is like gone... i really hope he is okay and his mother didnt do anything TvT offtopic but i made a beaded thing for jinx!!! it prob go on my small sketch book :P

gross. im gross

i cant be alone for this long. the days are merging, i forgetting things more, i cant be alone for this long. i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it

anyways.. art fight is soon! so there will be some new art posted ^^ https://artfight.net/~maccoon this is my acc! should check it out and maybe join in!!

im like this evry FUCKING summer

every god damn summer, i just sit in my room and rot. at least this time ive went to ther places and did actual shit but.. im still making myself bleed over random shit and getting disjustingly jealous of my friends. have i even shed a tear no. idk why but i havent and all ican think is oooooh i should be thinner and coverned in scars, like wtf is wrong with me??? thats not normal. IM not normal. i wish menatal health was taken nicely and not seen as something gross. i hate myself so fucking much. i want to die but dying isnt worth it rn, i got someone im trying to seem strong for so he has a shoulder to go to but in reality im weaker then fucking peice of paper, maybe ill never heal, im a fucking pussy.

A NEW ARG?????

(these are the little banners!!) THIS ARG IS SO FUCKING CUTE AND WELL DONE :O OMFG I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!!

i feel crazy or fake.

i feel crazy, my bring is just going on and on and on, i cant fucking take it, why tf am i like this???? wtf is wrong with me. im like spiraling, my whole arm stings.. im not fucking okay. i need real fucking help. omg. im crazy?? im fucking ill.. omg why am i like this? why am i not normal? what the hell.. i fucking hate this, im too much in this state, FUCKKKKk im gonna be so out of it tommrowwwww why do i do this shit to myself, not a single drop of self respect. useless peice of shit. you fucking pussy.

YIPPEEEE

today was pretty fun! no street pass :( but it okay! i got this icey with a cheese cake on top of it! i didnt know it would have that there lol. my friends where vollentering for promoting this juneteeth event sooo here is the link ;P [https://raceroster.com/events/2026/116080/juneteenth-in-da-rock-5k] love yallll~

MY FRIENDSSSSS

it was a few of my friends last day :(( im gonna miss them!! i hope they do well out there in the real world! i love them all and hope they all have nice lifes!!

cupcake event thingy

i went to an event and took some photos, it seemed to be about local cupcake bakers because it was all about cupcakes and circus, pretty net! i went like non-verbal made me wish people understood sign language more :( its what ever, there was a lot of people and im not a socialable person so i kinda spaced out a lot, pretty cool tho! dont like cake sooo didnt really eat the cupcakes but there was hotdogs and dr pepper!!!!

lowkey want the weekend

im planning to rearange my room for a new look, so maybe that will help with the lingering derpession i have rn TvT im so mentally drained all i want to do is sleepppp, but i only go to school for oscar, its the only time i see him or even talk to him, so if i dont see him or no promises of seeing him during the day, im calling my mother to check me out lol (ill say goodbye ofccc ;P) but yeah this week has been fast and draining idk why but yeahhhhhhh not been a super fun week!

i been awake for so long.

i cleaned my room.. like A LOT it was so fucking much, im so tired but i got a shit ton of anime to watch :P soo cant do that shit lol. i got jose and axel here again doing axels project

we have kissed!!

he kissed me on the lips :3 im so happy to have him, idc if i have to wait, this boy is worth the wait! he is worth so much, i want to learn everything about him, the good and bad all of it. one day ill know it all but all i can do is wish i do rn.

I ALOMOST KISSED HIM HOLY SHIT

i went to kiss my bf on the cheek and he turned to me as i was goona kiss him on the cheek and I FUCKING paniced!!! bro even laughed so idk if he knew what almost happen AHWADHWHIOA i almosted passed away holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit well bye bye!!

i have friends over this weekend also failing all my classes :P

my mother thinks im slacking on my work because of oscar, witch no dude, im just a slacer LMAOO oscar has nothing to do with it. but yeah ive been updating the site more!! :D hope yall are enjoying it!!!!

YOUR BOY PULLEDDDDDDD!

i have a boyfriend now! its super amazing, i love him a lot but i HATE his parents >:/ i would love to see him outside of school instend of only in school and skipping every class lol, even just texting him for 30mins in enough!!! i just want to commuincate outside of school :( i miss him when its the weekends or even just the end of school.. i want to see him longerrrrrrrrr

tiktok thinks im a incel!! D:

they keeping commenting larp under my video, all i showed was my konata themed pc set up and all of the sudden ive never touched luckystar :(